What's wrong with average?

The new year has only just begun. For many people, this is a time to set resolutions, establish new goals, or reflect on how they might improve certain areas of their lives. A better job? More exercise? Healthier eating? In today’s fast-paced world, we are constantly bombarded with messages about improvement in every possible domain.

Our brains, however, are struggling to keep up. While human evolution spans millions of years, the pace of change in modern life has accelerated dramatically over just the past few decades. Technology is faster, information is instant, and accessibility is constant. When I was a child, I had to wait a full week to watch the next episode of my favourite TV series. Today, endless reels, notifications, and on-demand content are the norm. With so much information flooding our minds, it is hardly surprising that there is a growing drive to do more, achieve more, and be more. The goalposts have shifted.

Against this backdrop, the word average has taken on a negative tinge. For some, it has become synonymous with underachieving or not being good enough. Yet historically, average simply meant the standard—the norm, or the “mean” in statistical terms. It was attainable, comfortable, and sufficient. Average was good enough.

This relentless pressure to improve may help explain why increasing numbers of people are seeking refuge from modern life. Nature retreats have surged in popularity, offering digital detoxes, silence, and reconnection with the natural world. Meditation apps, mindfulness courses, breathwork sessions, and yoga retreats have moved from the fringes into the

mainstream. On the surface, this may appear to be another way to optimise ourselves, but at a deeper level it often reflects a longing for stillness, simplicity, and relief from relentless expectations.

Our nervous systems were never designed for perpetual stimulation, comparison, and productivity. When every spare moment can be filled with content, self-improvement advice, or carefully curated images of other people’s success, it becomes increasingly difficult to simply be. Many people report feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or never quite “enough,” even when they are objectively doing well. In this context, turning to nature or meditation is often less about becoming better and more about returning to baseline—regulating the nervous system, slowing the mind, and rediscovering what feels manageable.

Of course, growth and change are not inherently problematic. Improving one’s health, seeking meaningful work, nurturing relationships, or exploring the world can bring a deep sense of fulfilment. Psychology tells us that humans thrive when they experience progress and agency. The difficulty arises when improvement becomes compulsory rather than chosen, and when rest, contentment, or stability are framed as failures instead of necessities.

This is where the concept of average deserves re-examination. Average does not mean stagnant, lazy, or unmotivated. It can mean balanced, sustainable, and deeply human. An average day might involve doing your job competently, caring for yourself and others reasonably well, and still having enough energy to enjoy small pleasures. An average life can hold joy, meaning, connection, and growth—without the constant pressure to outperform, outshine, or optimise every moment.

Stepping back and asking “What’s wrong with average?” can be a powerful exercise. It invites reflection on whose standards we are living by, and at what cost. In a world that continually urges us to do more and be more, choosing balance can be a quiet act of self- compassion. Sometimes, average isn’t settling—it’s finding a pace that allows us to stay well, present, and genuinely engaged with our lives.

Carolin Hayes

Registered Psychologist

B Psych Sci (Hons), M Prof Psych, MAPS

Carolin is a Registered Psychologist who is passionate about working with adults, helping them manage anxiety, stress, mood disorders or attachment difficulties, and empowering them to live a rich and meaningful life.